Not Even Lewis and Clark Had it This Bad
by Es Charmed
Summary: A team from the SGC, and a team from the Tok'ra working together.Explorations have never been this interesting SML established.
1. Chapter 1

SG1 and a few Tok'ra operatives settled in a small cave hidden deep within the forest. This was supposed to be a simple recon mission to find worlds suitable for a combined Tok'ra/Earth training site. The treaty between the two worlds included future relations to be more cooperative together in the fight against the go'uld. Having this new site would allow both Tok'ra and people of Earth to work together without outside influence such as politics to get in the way. Instead, many were mending their wounds and egos. Everything that could have possible gone wrong in that short week, did.

It all began the evening they stepped through the gate when they were greeted by very eager, very young villagers, all of whom were females. Odd that the POV did not pick up any information indicating life forms in the vicinity of the Stargate, but O'Neil suggested they make nice with the people. That was a mistake, but the giggles from the girls already told Sam that. She decided to keep her mouth shut because of course, in typical SGC-male fashion, they wouldn't have listened to her.

As soon as Daniel said hello, he was surrounded and being pulled by all directions. Small hands were tugging his shirt, running fingers through his hair, and grabbing parts of his body which could've resulted in serious injury had he not gently pulled away. In fact, all the men were being handled in the same manner as the girls attempted to escort them into their village. Anise and Sam followed not too far behind, the same thought running through their heads - "typical." When Martouf turned his head back to look for her, Sam shot him the "you better not try anything or I'll kill you" look. Taking the hint, his eyes glowed, "You will release me this instant," Lantash said and pulled away to walk with Sam before any of the girls could protest.

He placed his arms around her shoulder, giving her a look of innocence, "Smart move Romeo." She said to him. He didn't quite know who Romeo was, but Lantash would make sure to inquire of him later. This had indeed turned out to be a smart move on his part, because as it turned out, though very young and curious, many of the young girls were already betrothed, by the agreement of the elders, to other young warriors of the village. They each were challenged to fight to the death for the right of the women. Daniel tried his best to explain the situation to their leader, and after some time was able to convince him that it was all just a misunderstanding. He made sure to add that they girls were lucky to come across men who were from a world that valued their women and knew not to take advantage of the situation. Grateful, the leader thanked him for his kindness and invited them to the evening meal. 

The next morning they bid their farewell and left to continue surveying the land. It may not serve as a good planet for establishing a base, what with people already living near the gate, but Sam did point out several statues and works of art that were made of naquadah. This planet could serve to be a source for the precious metal and if so, they could form some sort of treaty with the villagers. Unfortunately it was a planet that rained heavily through the night, leaving the ground troublesome to walk on.

No one could've seen that near the edge of the forest was nothing but short cliffs and more unsteady ground. O'Neil was taking the lead until he suddenly fell forty feet down the side of a hill, hitting and breaking numerous twigs and small trees along the way. Daniel, who had ran after him in shock, followed suit and fell right on top. They were able to get them back up, unfortunately O'Neil ended up with a hairline fracture on his wrist and multiple bruises. Although standard procedure told them that they should have returned after this so that O'neil could acquire proper medical care, he didnt see the need for it. And decided that his wrist wasnt enough to cause a detriment for the mission. Daniel was covered with lacerations but at least nothing was broken... yet.

At around noon they found a clearing and settled down for lunch. Martouf and Teal'c took the first watch while everyone else ate. Over the distance, they heard a noise, presumably a small animal, but it didn't hurt to check anyway. Teal'c nodded to Martouf that he would go check it out, but as he turned toward the direction that the noise had come from, a squirrel sized animal that looked as if it was a mix between a puppy and a bear, ran right between his legs sending him backward. As Teal'c swung around trying to gain back the balance he had lost, Malek, who was standing not too far away from him faced the end of his staff weapon and was knocked to the ground. Sam, who had been sitting on a nearby rock, saw the whole fiasco and quickly got up to help. But she failed to remember the hot soup that was placed upon her lap. It flew up into the air and fell on top Daniel, who had been sitting on the ground beside her. He screamed and stood up only to knock over Martouf who at the time was quickly running across the field towards Malek. The creature, which had been running around stopped and sat on Daniel's chest, causing him to freeze and stare in shock at it. For a brief moment he had forgotten that Martouf was still pinned down beneath him.

"Daniel Jackson get off of me!" Lantash yelled.

"I can't move. It's right on top of me." He whispered back.

"You will either get off of me or I will push you off!"

"Wait, wait, wait, don't move! What if it's diseased? It could have rabies or something."

Anise, Jack and Aldwin were all laughing at the comedic sight in front of them. It was absolutely priceless and Jack wished he only had a camera to record it all. With the exception of Maleks groans, Lantesh's complaints and Daniels' petrified face, everyone was pretty much on the floor laughing.

Sam took a quick glance at the creature and decided it was the absolute most adorable thing she'd ever seen. It gave new meaning to the term 'wide eyed and bushy tailed,' and on its face was a look of curiosity and amazement. 

"Samantha, do not! We do not know where that creature has been!" Martouf interjected. She smiled at him, giggling.

"Honey its too cute, how could it possibly harm me?"

"Ahhh Carter, maybe he's right. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be petting every little puppy-dog looking thing in the galaxy." O'Neil agreed. Everyone held their breath as she reached out to pick up the creature.

"Samantha…"

"Do you want Daniel off of you or not?" and he quickly stopped protesting. The creature didn't fight her, instead, it seemed to appreciate the attention it was being given. It stared at Sam for some time and made a sound somewhat like a cat's purr.

"Carter, you can't keep that thing." O'Neil said as everyone slowly, but very cautiously, surrounded her.

"Uh-Oh Baby, I think you have some competition." She joked. Martouf made a grunting sound as he stood up and began wiping the dirt off his clothing. It was then that the little creature jumped out of Sam's hands, and everyone else took a simultaneous step back. Martouf was not paying attention at all. Still wiping the dirt off his cloths, he was caught completely by surprise when the creature jumped on him, sending him falling back on the ground, and began licking his cheeks. "Urgh, get this hideous creature off of me!" he yelled, hoping someone would answer his prayer.

"That hideous creature is called Amarish." All turned to the young female who was the source of the voice. It was Enrita, one of the villagers they had met the previous night. "And she is an ika'wai'e" Upon hearing her voice the creature, the so called ika'wai'e, jumped off of Martouf and into Enrita's arms. "Where have you been? I have looked everywhere for you," she gently scolded the creature. "They are gentle and curious creatures I assure you, and they roam freely throughout the lands of this planet. Although many are taken in as pets, this one in particular, lives with me at my home. I must apologize however, their curiosity sometimes gets the best of them and they are not always as welcome amongst our visitors. It seems they are always causing accidents of sorts. Again, I apologize." It was obvious she was amused, but judging from her reaction, this wasn't the first time something like this has happened. And to think, it was only their first full day there.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2 "Discommodious Devils"

Malek had been taking the lead for the past several hours. It was a quiet and uneventful hike for the most part. Jack was busy wiping his sunglasses with his t-shirt. Daniel, had been bored out of his mind, there had been nothing of archeological interest so far in this mission. Teal'c and Aldwin walked stoically along. Anise and Sam were fiddling with their equipments taking various readings, oxygen content, radiation levels, etc. all of which were within normal levels… boring. Martouf on the other hand was quite enjoying his time taking up the rear, admiring his view of Samantha's… anyway, one thing was for certain, the planet was a beautiful tropical paradise.

He really should've been paying more attention to his surroundings. Suddenly he tripped over a tree root sticking out from the ground. Like a set of dominos, when one fell, so did the rest. He knocked over Sam and Anise, who in turn tripped the rest of the men. Malek and Jack quickly jumped back, realizing that they were too close for comfort to one another. They stared at one another in shock.

"We'll pretend that didn't happen." Jack said to Malek.

"What happened, nothing happened." Malek denied.

"Urgh. What just happened?" Daniel asked.

"Nothing." "Nothing." The two men stated. Everyone stared at them in confusion.

"I am sorry, I should have been more careful with my footing." Martouf apologized.

"It's ok. Ahhh… You know what Sam why don't you and I switch."

"Yes Sir."

"O'Neil, are you alright?" Martouf asked as they began walking again.

"Yeah I'm cool." He quickly responded.

Malek had led them to an area of hot springs. Upon reaching the clearing the team paused and stared in amazement at the beautiful waterfall before them. Steam came from the surface of the clear-blue waters, there were several areas of small pools the size of jacuzzi's, and colorful birds flew above them. The small lake gave way to a calm river that flowed ever so peacefully down stream. Malek just couldn't resist.

"What's going on, we just took a break an hour ago?" Jack complained.

"Perhaps, but surely we cannot pass up an opportunity to enjoy such paradise." Answered Malek, who had already began taking off most of his clothing. He jumped into the waters, leaving Jack unbelievably upset. 'Go figure,' he thought, 'leave it to a Tok'ra to screw over the mission.' Daniel and Teal'c walked up beside him.

"This… is…. Amazing." Said Daniel.

"Yeah well don't get too comfortable, we won't be here for…." He barely finished his sentence when he saw Daniel jump into the water in his boxers. Teal'c then followed suit. He sighed in defeat and began taking off his clothing as well, 'If you can't beat 'em…' Soon everyone was enjoying the hot waters of the isolated paradise.

After walking downstream for a few minutes, Sam and Martouf were able to find a small grotto for their privacy. They swam around and splashed one another like a pair of playful lovers. "Ahhhh!" the loud scream brought them out of their reverie. Quickly they began running back upstream to where their friends had been. Anise, Jack, Daniel, and Aldwin were ran right past them.

"What the hell?" Sam turned around to see the source of all the commotion only to see Malek running towards her, naked and covered with splattered fruit. She immediately moved out of his way, and he ran fast passing everyone who had been ahead of him. Teal'c was last to come running, as he was still making futile attempts to reciprocate the attack. Martouf turned his face in the direction they had come from, only to be hit smack in the middle of the face by the same fruit that had adorned Malek's body. It was then that Sam saw the cause for chaos. A family of large primate-like creatures were chasing after them. Their large sharp teeth exposed as animalistic war cries came from the top of their lungs. The creatures were very aggressively throwing random fruits at their direction.

Luckily they weren't the type to pursue their enemies more than necessary. Everyone in the team was able to outrun the creatures after some time.

"What… the hell?!" Sam exclaimed, out of breath and in shock.

"Everything was fine, until Danny boy here decided to mess around with them."

"What? I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Enough! Someone please explain to me what had conspired?" Lantash yelled.

"All I did was try to take a piece of fruit from a tree. That's it."

"And?"

"Yeah, and?"

"And… I don't know. One of those things just crept up behind and started yelling and throwing."

"There is another issue at hand." Everyone looked at Malek, embarrassed, they turned their back when they realized he was naked. "I, I like swimming in the nude. It makes me feel free," he said in his own defense. "In any case, how do you propose we get our things back?"

Everyone remained silent.

"Ah crap!"


End file.
